VPK - Cole

After a successful year in ESE PK at Roberts Elementary, I decided that it would be a good experience for Cole to go through the VPK program like Logan.  The days for VPK are very long from 8 am - 5 pm.  Even the teachers don't stay all day long!  They go 4 days a week for 6 weeks.  

Cole had a rough start to the summer.  He typically has not done well with a change in routine.  He has a hard time adjusting.  The first week of school I received several reports from his teacher that he was removing socks and shoes, not listening to his teachers and being disruptive.  One day I went in to bring him lunch and he had a completely melt down when I went to leave.  One Friday, when he didn't have school, I thought I would take them to see a Reptile Show at the local Library.  He refused to go into the Library or get out of the van.  When he FINALLY did get out of the van, he kicked and screamed the entire time.  It was a very difficult day.  After about a 2 week adjustment period he started to do better in school.  He was doing well with all his Kindergarten readiness skills.  He made it through the summer VPK ok.  On Fridays, we kept it casual and he played outside in the pool with his sibs and enjoyed a duck family that came to visit us.

Cole also enjoyed going to Cornerstone Baptist Church's VBS program.  We visited Egypt and he had a great time.  He still listens to the music.

VPK and Summer Surgery - Logan

Logan made it through his 9x7 PK class pretty well.  At the beginning of the year he struggled but by January he blossomed and started doing better.  They prepared his IEP with a Resource model (More than 40%, but less than or equal to 79% with non ESE students).  This meant that 40% of the time Logan would work with an ESE teacher in a smaller class for Math and Reading.  The rest of his time would be spent in a regular Ed class.  They felt strongly that he would perform better in a smaller classroom environment.  I agreed and felt this was a good solution for Logan.

His PK teachers recommended that he attend Voluntary Pre Kindergarten during the summer before he entered Kindergarten.  I believe I was given an application for VPK at school.  But you can also go through Polk County School Board to find out more.  Or if you are out of state, you can check with your local public school to find out what type of Voluntary Pre Kindergarten classes they have.  This is a free program for any student. 

We moved towards the end of the school year to another school district and so Logan started VPK in another school (already his 3rd school....poor guy).   I believe that to be enrolled in VPK the students have to be going into a regular Kindergarten class.  Logan had an IEP and so they questioned me at first as to whether he could be in the VPK class, but b/c his delays were only speech related they let him attend. 

VPK was a long and exhausting day for Logan.  They started bright and early at 8 am and went until 5:00 pm Monday through Thursday for I believe 6 weeks during the summer.  It was good for Logan and his teachers actually wondered why he had an IEP.  It was at this point I realized that not all the teachers have access to his IEP documentation.  So I went ahead and made copies of his IEP so they could see what he had on there and also get some good background information for him.  Logan continued to do well.  He has never been a behavior problem so all the teachers love him.  It's a good thing, but also a bad thing at times b/c he was so quiet he would not ask for help.  I made sure that the teachers were aware of his trait of not asking for help. 



Logan before surgery.



Logan right after surgery.



During the summer after VPK was over we took Logan back to his ENT (Dr. Raam Lakhani).  When Logan had his tongue tie surgery he told us that Logan had very large tonsils and that eventually it would be good to have them removed.  We also had his ears checked by an audiologist who said that he had a mild hearing loss issue in his right ear.  We had Dr. Lakhani check that out and he suggested that Logan have tubes put into his ears as well.  So, we took Logan in for another surgery with Dr. Lakhani.  He removed his tonsils and put in tubes.  It was planned that Logan's adnoids would be removed as well, however, before Dr. Lakhani started to remove them he noticed that Logan has what is called a Bifid Uvula basically the Uvula in the back of the throat is split.  It is in the same family as a cleft palate.  The bifid uvual can cause issues with speech.  It can cause additional problems with speech if the adnoids are completely removed. This article explains how removing the adnoids completely can cause additional issues with speech.  Thankfully, Dr. Lakhani knew that and only removed a portion of his adnoids.  This also explained some of Logan's speech delay and low muscle tone in his mouth.

You are the Best Mom.....for them!

God allows us each to have trials in our lives to test our faith and to teach us patience.  I love what the Bible says in James 1 about trials :

² My brethren, count it all joy when you fall into various trials, ³ knowing that the testing of your faith produces patience. ⁴ But let patience have its perfect work, that you may be perfect and complete, lacking nothing. ⁵ If any of you lacks wisdom, let him ask of God, who gives to all liberally and without reproach, and it will be given to him.

¹⁷ Every good gift and every perfect gift is from above, and comes down from the Father of lights, with whom there is no variation or shadow of turning.


As a mom, it is tough to watch your children struggle.  It doesn't matter what their struggle is from learning issues to medical issues to emotional issues.  They are all struggles, but God knows that when we face these things in HIS strength it produces something good.   Even a trial or struggle is a gift from God....but in our humaness it's hard to understand it.  We all want to ask "Why me, God?"  "Why do MY boys have to struggle to communicate with me?",  "Why do my kids have this disease?",  "Why does my daughter struggle with an eating disorder" etc.  But these are the very trials in our lives and the lives of our kids that will shape them into the person that God wants them to be. 

Someone once said to me, "You are the best Mom for your sons.  God chose you to be their mom b/c he knew you would know how to take care of them."  That still brings tears to my eyes.  To know that I am specially chosen for Logan and Cole and Mikayla is important to me.  I may not always have the answer for them and I may not always respond just right to a meltdown, but I know that no matter what God chose me to be their mom!

How God Prepared Me

In my walk as a Christian, God has taken me down many roads....but all roads lead to people with Special Needs! 

I was a Spanish Education major in college and one of the first Ed classes I took was a class that introduced me to Special Education.  During that semester of college I realized I badly needed a good job with medical benefits.  During one of my classes a company called Toward Independence Incorporated came to talk to us about working with adults with disabilities.  I never considered that as a job and in fact had a pretty verbal conversation with God about NOT wanting to do that.  But, I decided that a job that fit in with a college schedule and had benefits was a good thing so I applied. 

TII taught me so much about working with individuals with special needs. It was a challenging job at times, but I found that I really did well with the residents I worked with.  During that time I bonded strongly with a lady named Nancy.   Nancy was about 40.  She was full of sarcasm and charm and I loved her to death.  We took several vacations together and enjoyed hanging out.  She was a challenge...often times SUPER stubburn.  Often times is really not accurate....she was ALWAYS stubborn.  She had a touch of OCD which is typical for people with Down Syndrome.  This is where I first encountered someone who didn't like the feel of certain types of clothes.  Now that I think about it, it sounds more like a sensory issue! LOL  Anyway, every morning when I went to get her ready for work she would stand in front of the mirror and pull on her moo moo dress neck.  She refused to wear any type of underwear.  And most of the time she refused to do anything, unless there was a POP in it for her :)   I didn't care about all these little traits though, she was my favorite!   I worked for awhile in another house with another man named Duane.  He was in his 50's at the time.  He was so funny and had personality coming out his ears.  When he introduced himself he would stick out his hand and say "Duwhitty Walter".  You might have heard my fake curse word "piggy".  This was something I picked up from Duwhitty.   Anyway, Duane didn't know when to stop being silly sometimes and several times with him I found myself in a bear hug that I didn't want to be in.  He was pretty rough...but he laughed and smiled the whole time I was screaming my head off for him to let me go.  Since working with both Nancy and Duane, I have always had an attachment with people with special needs and especially those with Down Syndrome.  I have often said that I would like to adopt a child with DS, but so far that has not happened maybe one day in the future. 

I took a break from working with adults with special needs for about 2 years after I moved to Florida.  Then in the spring of 2002, I felt lead to seek a job at Florida Baptist Children's Homes  .  My first year at FBCH was spent working in a Group Home and Adult Day Program with adults with disabilities.  As always, I enjoyed this time with the people and learned a lot.  The last 3 years I worked at FBCH were spent working with foster children ages 6-17 in the Girls Shelter.  This was a whole new experience for me.  It was in the girls shelter where I learned more about emotional disorders and learning issues that were not as severe as the adults special needs.  I also learned a lot about discipline and how to manage severe behavior problems and also the importance of routine in the life of children.  There were several girls I would have loved to bring home with me. I worked at the Children's Home until I began to see the need for my full attention on my boys and the issues that were popping up with them. 

As I look back, it amazes me how God's hand was there guiding me through.  I remember having very verbal conversations/prayers about working at these jobs.  I never thought I could handle working with the adults or with the teens, but in the end they were just what I needed to prepare for my boys.

Meltdown Mayhem

Meltdown, temper tantrum, screaming, fighting, throwing, crying, yelling......exhaustion.  Yeah, it's all apart of our journey.  One time I was venting to Marcia and telling her about some frustration with a meltdown.  And she said, "You feel like you are fighting a battle everyday, because you are.  A typical child has a battle once a week, but you fight the battles EVERYDAY!"  (it's easy to see why she changed my life, right?  she GOT IT) 

Logan and Cole are very good boys.  Logan always receives praise for being the perfect, quiet, rule following kid.  Cole is most of the time described as sunshine or funny or happy.  I don't want to give the idea in the next few stories I tell that I'm putting them down in any way.  But here are a few of my "favorite" meltdown stories.

I was in the grocery store with Logan and Cole (walmart, bad idea) and Logan was walking next to the cart and begging and begging for a candy bar.  I said no.  He started to whine.  I said no more firmly.  He started to cry saying "I want a candy bar".  I said no again more in his face and he began a melt down.  Now, this may be typical for a 2 or 3 year old, but he was about 4 or so when this happened.  The meltdown didn't just happen for a few minutes while we waited to check out...but it got increasingly worse as we waited (walmart....baaaad idea long lines!).  As we waited a "nice" little old lady said "I think someone is spoiled."  to which I replied "HE IS NOT SPOILED". (uhhh, that still makes my blood boil).   Ok, so this looks like bad behavior and it was.  He was being unreasonable. I have since come to realize that at times he didn't know if I was understanding what he wanted, which caused BIG meltdowns.  I also have recently realized that Logan doesn't process what he hears like an average kid.  So it takes him a few minutes to get what I am saying.   Not only that, but for whatever reason some SPD kids have an issue with waiting in line.  And likely, the little shopping trip was completely out of his routine which from the beginning set him off in a bad mood.  It's not that I'm excusing bad behavior with SPD b/c I'm not...he was punished for the bad behavior (no candy bar and time out in the cart).  But as I look back now, I can see why he was on edge and that "no" at the end of the shopping trip--in the noisy store, probably wearing the pants he didn't want to wear, outside of his normal routine--was too much for the little 4 year old! 

Logan's epic meltdowns were many times over not wanting to wear a jacket or long pants.  I can remember completely dressing him while he was kicking and fighting and crying, driving him 20 minutes to school....while he still cried and screamed and arriving a school with a red faced, teary eyed boy.  Luckily, both Ms. Scott and Ms. Wendy were good about helping us through that.  He still gets antsy over that kind of stuff, but it's not the meltdowns it was in the past...now he just whines and repeats over and over what he wants or doesn't want. 

Cole has also had some epic meltdowns.  His in the beginning didn't seem as bad to me (maybe b/c I was dealing with Logan's at the same time)  but to other people his meltdowns were worse.  He calmed down with me, but if I wasn't there to calm him then he would be a pistol for whoever was taking care of him.  It came to where I couldn't go with him to PT or Speech b/c he would not work for the therapist while I was in the room.  Ironically, he was ok with me being there in OT (probably b/c she was working directly with his sensory needs).  Anyway, many of Cole's epic meltdowns happened with other people at first!   One time he refused to walk back to class from the playground with his Physical Therapist.  She said he cried all the way back (it was quite a hike too) and she had to carry him like a football b/c he refused to walk.  Another one of Cole's famous things to do is just sit down.  He will cry and sit down and refuse to go anywhere.  Which when he was little I'd just pick him up and we'd go, but as he gets bigger it gets harder.  Cole has sat down in the middle of stores, therapy, church you name it.  We even had to implement a little technique for helping his sit ins.  (basically....hold his hand up above his head, gently take a step forward, prompt one time to stand, and do not respond to screaming)  That is very hard to do while standing in the middle of a store with people staring at you....just saying. 

Cole doesn't always make a good first impression, which breaks my heart b/c once you get to know him he's a great kid!  In a new situation such as a new classroom, or teacher he goes through a time of readjusting to the new person/environment. Mommy forgets that he has this issue with new people/situations so the first week is always bad.  It usually takes him a few weeks to get a good routine going and then he is fine and adjusts.  But of course, this makes a terrible first impression on his teachers.  We still struggle with this issue and I have yet to find something that works to get him through it.  Cole was doing well at school with Ms. Ana following a pictorial schedule so we made a folder for church that had the schedule that the teacher could show to him.  She used boardmaker to make the little squares and that seemed to work ok.  I am recently contemplating going with him the first week to get him adjusted, but b/c he clings to me so much I am hesitant to try it.  Maybe easing him into a big change would be better, but we are not always given that opportunity (in the case of a substitute).  Hmmm, I will have to think more on this for an upcoming change from Cubbies to Sparks at church!  !!!

In order to make an attempt to balance all these negatives out, let me just share that both of my boys have truly great personalities, they have bad days but they are not bad kids by any means.  Logan is my serious, rule follower.  He likes order and his routine.  He also likes to play with Legos (you can be his best friend if you play with Legos...it's really not too difficult)  He is super protective of his sister and he loves her and loves to play with her.  He loves to play with Cole and wrestle and have fun.  He loves to please and make people happy and he loves praise.  Cole is my lovable little monkey.  He loves to laugh and have fun.  He LOVES cars to this day he plays with cars daily.  His cars do great things and talk to each other (it's much more fun to listen to now that he uses real words...lol)  He's a great pretender and he's always "happy".  He also thrives on praise! 

I try to remember to focus on the positives about my boys rather than their issues with SPD.  I verbally praise their accomplishments often.  I think it's so important to keep praising them.  There are times when I fail and I'm frustrated with their behavior.  But it helps to remember those cute little stories too....you know, the ones for the scrapbook :)

Hypothyroid and Developmental Delay

During my pregnancy with Logan I had gestational diabetes which was treated with diet as it wasn't severe. About 6 months after his birth I was feeling very drained, irritable and had been gaining more weight. I decided to see my doctor to see if I had type 2 diabetes as I understood (from my "Dr. Google" research) that those were some symptoms. Some might have brushed those symptoms off on being a new mom too. But, I come from a long line of hypochondriacts so I went to the doctor! :) I am glad I went b/c my doctor noted that I had a goiter in my neck around my thyroid. He asked me if I had ever been diagnosed with thyroid issues. WAAAY back in college the doctors tested me for hypothyroid, but results came back as everything being normal. So my doctor sent me for some labs and a ultra sound of my neck. When the labs came back it showed that I had severe hypothyroid. So my doctor started me on medication right away. Hypothyroid actually explained a lot of other medical issues that I had in the past as well. Such as heavy periods, irregular periods, weight gain, difficulty getting pregnant, irritability, dry patches of skin, hair loss etc. Hypothyroid basically messes with all your hormones....as if we women don't have enough problems with hormones!

Even while I felt better on the medication, for some irresponsible reason I didn't take my thyroid medication that next year like I should have. I waited long periods between refills etc. But it did work well enough b/c about 4 months after I started taking the medication I got pregnant again!! That's when God blessed us with Cole! :) Through out Cole's pregnancy I continued my irresponsible way of taking the medication. My OB tested me twice to be sure that my thyroid levels were ok but the last time he checked them were half way through the pregnancy.

Fast Forward>>>>>

After discovering my boys delays I started researching (Dr. Google at it again) things on the internet about developmental delay. Somewhere in the midst of this Dr. Googling I found an article that connected untreated Hypothyroidism w/ Developmental Delay. This was interesting and eye opening for me! NO ONE told me that there could be any type of connection between my untreated Hypothyroidism and my kids Developmental Delay. I finally went to see an endocronologist about it. I basically went to just ask him this question "Can my untreated hypothyroidism be connected to my children's developmental issues?". His answer was laid back and he pretty much brushed it off saying, "Hypothyroid CAN cause a delay, but it would only be a 'slight' delay like the difference between an A and C student". My mom pointed out that what if you have a student who is normally a "C" student! So yes, it can be a cause for their developmental delay. This article explains the connection. I became finally more diligent about taking my medication.

Fast Forward >>>>

In 2008 I found out I was pregnant with my 3rd child. I was so excited and armed with the information about the connection between hypothyroid and developmental delay I was diligent in taking my medication and making sure my levels were right during my pregnancy. My pregnancy was pretty normal (despite early signs of gall bladder issues...blah) and gestational diabetes and being older! Mikayla was born January of 2009! She is growing and developing totally on target. She amazes me in what she says at 2 years old! I feel like it's somehow proof that untreated hypothyroid is connected.

The thing with hypothyroid is that it doesn't always show up until after a pregnancy. I'm not sure of the medical reason for that. But I've heard that over and over again. So I guess my advice to anyone trying to get pregnant is that you have your thyroid checked to be sure your levels are right. And always take your medication as prescribed!

ESE PK - Cole

A year and a half after I dropped my 3 year old Logan off to school, I dropped of my 3 year old Cole as well. It was much easier the second time as I was confident in the process. Cole toddled off to PK in April right after his 3 birthday. He ended up in Logan's class with Ms. Wendy for that brief time and it was good for him to get used to the school day with his brother there to help him out. It was interesting to talk to their teachers about their interactions during the day. We all agreed that the brief nature of the arrangement was good. Siblings in the same class is usually not a great idea, but it worked for those few months.

Cole had OT, PT and Speech and Vision Therapy services on his IEP. So an OT and PT came to visit him during his class time. OT in the school district is different than the OT that he was getting at PTS. At PTS he received a lot of Sensory type therapy. OT in the school district was more based on his delay in fine motor skills. Because of this we continued to pay for OT at PTS for another 8 months so that Marcia could work with Cole using Sensory strategies.

Cole's first FULL year of ESE PK was different in a sense than Logan's was. Wendy left to teach college students and get her doctorate for free. So Cole had a new teacher. Ms. Ana was a wonderful lady and teacher. She worked hard with Cole and she worked hard to learn about Cole and sensory issues. Academically, with Ms. Ana Cole did very well. But at 3.5-4 he was having a lot of difficulty with behavior problems and refusing to do things. He would have melt downs at school and at home. That time period for us was very difficult. Ms. Ana did help us with potty training Cole and he was almost completely potty trained by the end of his year with her. Ms. Ana kept me informed and spoke to me often about Cole's progress.

We moved to another school district at the end of of Cole's first full year of ESE PK. So he had to start over at another school the following year. Mrs. Shannon Moats was Cole's teacher at NE Roberts Elementary. She was wonderful with Cole and b/c she understood sensory issues integrated a lot of sensory breaks into Cole's day automatically. Cole's behavior was excellent for her and she adored him. At Roberts I was unable to visit the kid's classes like I had at Wagner and the boys rode the bus, so I felt more disconnected. I got some response from Ms. Moats through out the year and over all he was improving and doing very well. Cole continued to struggle at home with some behavior problems. We saw somethings at church where he would be defiant with a new teacher for Sunday School etc.

Over all, Cole saw much improvement during his time in ESE PK. From barely talking his first year at Wagner to singing a song at the end of his school year at Roberts. The change in him was great and I could definitely see how all these people worked together to help him succeed!